Crab Rangoon: Travesty and Revelation (Chicago, Wednesday, April 7, 2010)

I have to say, the preponderance of food items is vastly improved by the addition of cream cheese.

Like so:

+ sugar + graham cracker = delicious

+ bagel (+/- lox) = delicious

+ salmon + rice + nori = delicious

+ danish = delicious

+ croissant (+/- strawberry, +/- chocolate) = delicious

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

We begin our final morning in Chicago at Yolk, a sorta breakfast Spectacular Spectacular, you know, the type of breakfast place that names itself "Yolk," a place that wields a 5 page menu, an overweening observance of a yellow (why would they use yellow in a place called Yolk?), white, and blue color-scheme in order to convey "Sunny," "Happy," "Friendly," and not "Turn and Burn."

And while I'd be the last to regard an American-style breakfast "espectacular," I can't resist the siren song and subtlety of the following masterful endorsement:



(Although, of course, I immediately regret neglecting to ask for real bacon instead of candy-ass Canadian bacon.)

Mmm, hollaindaise--the cum of the gods.

Three months later, I can't seem to remember what befell 'tween breakfast and lunch, and the two other items I ordered at Asian-Smorgasbord-Fusion were a perversion that did not merit space on my camera's memory card ("ramen" using spaghetti noodles--wrongwrongwrong--and a corn-starchy chicken congee).

But the crab rangoon--"What, you've never had crab rangoon? You must try it!" say Tess & Cara--the crab rangoon was a crisp, chewy, creamy, salty, sweet & sour-y nearly-bite-sized present for the mouth.

Before eating:


After eating:


I get the strange feeling that crab rangoon is not endemically Asian, and Midwesterners Tess and Cara grew up eating it, so while it's not necessarily "authentic," it does nevertheless prove the point I began elucidating earlier:

cream cheese + imitation crab meat + wonton wrapper + deep fryer + sweet and sour sauce =

FUCKING DELICIOUS!