Down the Rabbit-Hole, Nan Xiang (Flushing)

I went to Nan Xiang today with Levitt because 1) I love me some scallion pancakes with beef and xiao3long2bao1, and 2) cuz the dude who runs Baohaus ranked it among his fave food places (#4) and he is a) highlarious (except when he's pissed, at which point he is more righteous) and b) runs Baohaus, which is the best idea in the world.

What a letdown. When we got there I realized I'd been there before, but I just didn't put two and two together due to the fact that I'm a poor excuse for an Asian and therefore, 1) am bad at math and 2) can't remember Chinese names.

I mean, it was a'iiight. Serviceable. Even good in the context of living in California which, despite all the Chinese, has, IMO, shit Chinese food.

I ordered the warm soy milk (sweet), the cruller, the scallion pancake with beef, and the crab and pork xiaolongbao. Oh, yeah, and the cold cucumbers because Levitt is (was) on a fruit and vegetable cleanse. (Sorry, dude.)

The cucumbers were pretty got-damn good--sesame oil and salt and garlic and cilantro. But you know, they're a vegetable (fruit??), so how good can they be? Don't get me wrong, I love me some vegetables, and I just googled Intermezzo again yesterday because I need to know if I can get a Giant Fucking Salad again, but veg just doesn't give me the same mouth-fireworks that a good protein or carb or protein-carb combination can.



Anyway, this here protein-carb combination (scallion pancake, braised beef) was just not the business. Not enough tendon/gristle tenderness, and on the pancake, no glistening spots of oil, no balance of burnt brown spots and less-cooked, slightly translucent areas, and NOT ENOUGH Q (Chinese for al dente)--no pull, no resistance to the teeth.

It was bullshit.

I mean, I'd eat that shit again, but it was bullshit nevertheless.

And don't even get me started on the cruller.



Well, actually, let me get started on this thing: what the fuck, y'all? Did you bake the goddamn thing? Are we at Weight Watchers? Where is the deep-fried goodness? Where have all the cowboys gone?

And the crab and pork xiaolongbao. No pic. I think maybe they were not as good because I tried to be all fancy. Prolly shoulda gotten the pork ones. I dunno.